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(407): i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once.

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(209): I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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(813): for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?

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(252): I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it.

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(619): joking with this girl I told her "you walk like your pregnant!" And she asks "how the hell do you know?" And I reply "some guys just have that instinct to know when to walk away!"

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(610): I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

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(559): my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time ... if she only knew.

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(916): I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.

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