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Walmart: because going to Target requires a shower. --- Anonymous

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Only at Mcdonalds do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and really mean "weight." --- zacharyflynn

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Women should come with permanent mood rings. --- tedbosses

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Live today like it's your last day. But pay bills and dress appropriately just in case it isn't. --- capricecrane

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Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know. --- funnyhumour

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Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man….I could be eating a slow learner. --- Anonymous

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Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse. --- Anonymous

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she’s worth a shot. --- Anonymous

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