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Before I go into a job interview, I always dump Gatorade over my head so everyone knows I'm a winner. --- badbanana

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My son laughed at a ceiling fan for 45 minutes in case any studio execs are wondering how to reach his demographic. --- robfee

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Only in math problems can you cbuy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.

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My wife said she needed some "alone time". So I made her a Myspace account.

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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?" --- jenstatsky

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The phrase "Silence is golden" doesn't make any sense because duct tape is silver. --- RamblingMachine

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Anybody have some good summer reads for me that...Oh wait. Nevermind. Found my phone. --- albz

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I wonder how telemarketers react to other telemarketers when they are at home. --- thisisbryanm

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