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(252): you kept introducing yourself as buddy the elf and then ask if they were your dad. when they said no you called them a cotton headed ninny muggins and tried to have a tickle fight.

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(323): He told me it was his first time eating a girl out, i dont beleive him.

(1-323) Why?

(323) I orgasmed, squirted, and he found my g spot in like 8 seconds flat.

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(253): Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

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(719): If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

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(830): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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(623): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

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(609): he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care

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(508): My vagina was making angry noises, and he just kept going. He's a keeper.

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